How to Hang Out with Your Homeschool Friends in a Socially Distanced World

With Covid spiking and the usual back-to-school sniffles, this fall might start to feel like a tough season for homeschool get-togethers. If you want to keep your homeschool groups healthy, you don’t have to go no-contact, but you do have to be smart about how you socialize.

“In some ways, it’s harder for people to navigate socializing now than it was when the pandemic first started,” says Andrea Chronis-Tuscano, a clinical psychology professor at the University of Maryland who specializes in parenting and parent mental health. “The rules were clear.” But now that hanging out is back on the table, it’s hard to navigate: How can you stay safe? What does it mean to be a good host now? What does it mean to be a good guest? How do you say no when you’re uncomfortable with the way a social situation is going?

The good news is that we’re all figuring this out together, says Chronis-Tuscano. “No one has a rule book with all the answers, and everybody’s answers look a little different.”

We all know the basic rules: Wear masks, maintain six feet of distance, don’t share food and drinks, stick to small groups, stay outside, and wash your hands frequently. But how does that play out on a homeschool play date or at an in-person co-op class? Here are some things to keep in mind.

Respect the strictest rules.

People may not always want to disclose why they’re being extra-cautious, but the why doesn’t really matter — if you’re hanging out with friends, you want your friends to be comfortable. This is why it’s important to spell out the safety guidelines you have in mind for a get-together when you’re issuing invites. You don’t have to change your plans to accommodate someone else (you’d love to hang outside, but your allergies are killing you this fall), but you may find that there’s an easy fix (sure, you can bring your own food instead of ordering something with the rest of us).

Follow your own rules.

If you issue an invitation for an outdoor gathering, resist the urge to move the action inside. If you’ve promised social distancing, don’t send the kids on the trampoline together. No one wants to be the killjoy who has to keep reminding everyone else to follow the rules, so don’t put your guests in that unpleasant position. If you’re the unfortunate person in the killjoy position, you may find it easier to make an excuse and leave than to try to persuade people to follow the rules. (Even though they made them. And you’re not being a killjoy!)

Set up in advance.

Make your hangout area social distance friendly by setting chairs six feet apart and removing extra seating. If you’re a throwing an art party, have everyone’s station set up before they arrive — if you’re having a snack together, set up the tables and chairs in advance with space between them.

Stick with your comfort zone.

It’s fine if you’re more relaxed than your pals, or if you’re sticking to a stricter quarantine plan than they are. Everybody has to make these decisions for her family individually. It’s OK to say no to get-togethers that make you uncomfortable. We’re all looking forward to the day when we can hug our friends and share a bag of pretzels at the park, but until that day comes, we’re all doing the best we can.

Working Full-Time and Homeschooling: How I Do It

I’m totally lucky to get to balance a job I love with hands-on homeschooling, which I also love, but hitting that balance isn’t always easy, and I’m learning to be okay with that.

I work full-time. (And then some.) I also homeschool my kids in a pretty hands-on way. And you might think that this all gets easier as kids get older and more independent, but I’ve found the opposite to be true. High school homeschooling, when you’re doing most of it in the homeschooling-at-home kind of way, takes a lot of time and energy. People are often interested in how I balance these two big jobs, so I thought I’d write a post about my work/homeschool balancing act.

First off, I’m pretty sure a lot of the time that I do it pretty badly. It’s not easy. Things slip through the cracks. I have a vague, nagging sense of guilt all the time, like whatever I’m doing at any given time, I should be doing something else. (I’m not saying this to complain — I know I’m lucky to get to do things this way. But I think it would be totally fake to pretend that working full time and homeschooling is easy or that I do it well all the time!)

And second, I love what I do. I think I have the best job in the entire world, and I find homeschooling really fun and satisfying. I think if either one of those things weren’t true, my situation would feel much harder. I also know that I’m able to make my balancing act work because when my kids were younger, I worked 95% of the time from my home office. That changed when my oldest started high school and I started a hybrid homeschool in Atlanta; first I worked one day a week teaching AP English, then two days a week running the high school humanities program, and now I’m at the school five days a week for middle and high school. My youngest, who is in 11th grade, is a student at the school, though we also do a lot of homeschool stuff together at home.

Here’s what works for me:

I completely let go of the idea of a normal workday.

I have a big workload, and in a more traditional environment, I’d be logging plenty of overtime. Last year, I made the decision not to keep up with my hours of work time at home or try to set up a consistent schedule. I work when I need to work. My kids are late sleepers, so I’m usually able to get in three or four hours of work before they wake up in the morning. I usually work while I eat lunch and then in the afternoon and evening when the kids are doing their own things. I work through the weekend. Most days, we’re actively homeschooling for about four hours, and we try to spend at least an hour or two every day just doing something fun together — watching a show, playing a game, taking a walk, tackling a new craft project, whatever. I have accepted the fact that I’ll be working a lot every day, including weekends and holidays, and I try to make my non-work hours really count.

I do not try to do everything.

I usually make dinner and we all eat together, but unless I’m at home and feeling particularly into it, I don’t do breakfast and lunch — everyone’s on their own for that. (I stock up on easy-to-make things like instant oatmeal, sandwich fixings, or yogurt, and do occasional mega-cooking sessions where I freeze individual portions of meals like macaroni and cheese or enchiladas that the kids can heat up. Sometimes I buy frozen meals from the supermarket. I try to buy the healthiest ones, but I buy them, and I don’t feel guilty about it.) Our house is usually messy because cleaning is low on my priority list, and I’m okay about that. (Well, at least mostly!) 

I push myself to be all-in with whatever I’m doing.

When your to-do list never ends, it’s easy to feel perpetually fragmented — you’re doing one thing, but your mind is on something else. I work hard to stay in the moment: If we’re homeschooling, I turn off my phone. (I’ve actually got my phone set up so that it doesn’t even receive work email — I have to check it on my desktop.) If I’m writing a lecture, I don’t check Facebook until the lecture is done. Some multitasking is inevitable and some days I do better at staying in the moment than others, but I really try to stay focused on one thing at a time.

I compartmentalize.

Along the same lines, I keep a separate bullet journal for life (including homeschooling) and for work. This makes sense practically because my work timelines and my life schedule are pretty different, but it’s also symbolic: When I open my work bullet journal, I’m working. When I close it, I turn off work—as much as I can, anyway, when my office is just steps away from my bedroom. This is a small thing, but it’s made a big difference for me: Now, I have a life calendar that doesn’t just get swallowed up by work to-do lists.

I say no to extra stuff.

I wish I had time to go to every homeschool day and park day and play date, but that’s just not realistic with everything else I have to do. So the kids and I try to choose one out-of-the-house adventure each week, and that’s it. I don’t take on volunteer projects, even when they’re awesome projects that I really believe in, or extra responsibilities, even when they come in the form of super-fun classes I could teach. I have to know my limits and be honest with myself about them.

I take time for myself.

Our house would certainly be much tidier if I went straight to housecleaning every time I logged off from work — but that’s never going to happen. Carving out little corners of free time for myself is really important to me. So yes, I could be cleaning when I’m watching Poldark with Jason or having lunch with my best friend or knitting on the back deck, but I would feel overwhelmed very, very quickly. I don’t always get a lot of me-time, but when I do, I never feel guilty about using it for what I want to do (not what I might think I need to do).

I try not to talk about how busy I am.

I know people whose conversations always seem to circle back around to how busy they are, and I don’t want “busy” to become the way people think of me — or, more importantly, the way I think of myself. So yeah, I’m busy, but unless you catch me right on the cusp of a magazine deadline, I’m not going to tell you all about it. I’m going to enjoy the break that I get chatting with you for all its worth and go back to my projects a little rejuvenated when the conversation is over. Dwelling on how busy I am just makes me feel busier, if that makes sense.

I take busy work weeks off from homeschool — and vice versa.

When we’re ramping up for a new term at the Academy or I’m on a big deadline for a project, I don’t even try to do any kind of structured homeschool — our homeschool has a year-round calendar, so a week off several times a year isn’t a big deal. Similarly, if we have a big homeschool project going — like the trip we took to Savannah this year or our big New England road trip over last spring break —I organize as much as I can in advance so that I can do the bare minimum work stuff during that time. I’ve learned that when something needs my full attention, trying to split my attention is a recipe for stress and grouchiness.

I feel like this balancing act is always a work in progress — for every day that I finish triumphantly, feeling like I’m that one person in a million who’s figured out how to have it all, there’s a day where I feel like the worst mom/wife/editor/teacher/friend in the history of the world. Mostly, though, I’m thankful that I get to have a job that I love, homeschool my kids, and make it — mostly — work.

How do we grow our secular homeschool community as our kids become teens?

Sometimes, the way to get the homeschool community you really want is to build it from the ground up. If growing community is on your to-do list, try some of these strategies to make it happen.

Whether you’re a new homeschooler looking to find your people, a long-time homeschooler whose community is undergoing a disorienting shift, or just someone who never really found the homeschool community you were looking for, 2023 can be the year you find your people.

There are two keys to getting the community you really want, says Niofer Merchant, author of The Power of Onlyness. The first is to make building community a priority — it’s probably not going to magically happen on its own if it hasn’t already. The second key? Take it one small step at a time. You don’t need to get from A to Z with one big leap, says Merchant. Getting to B is great progress and much more achievable. These small steps can get you moving in the right direction.

Find a different seat.

We tend to stick to the same patterns in familiar places, but if you always end up in the same corner of your co-op sitting room or beside the same moms on park day, you might be missing an opportunity. The more you’re willing to venture outside your comfort zone, the more resources you find, says Merchant. Little changes, like sitting on the opposite side of the room, checking out a different park day, or hitting the homeschool day at your favorite museum in the afternoon instead of in the morning can broaden your community.

Extend your age range.

Senior centers are always excited to get new blood, even if you only have a few hours to give, says Kimberly Trusty-Doughty, general manager for volunteer services at the Hillsborough County Department of Aging Services in Florida. Seniors may not be your first thought for your homeschool community, but one of the great benefits of homeschooling is that we get to do real socialization, the kind that’s not limited by age or grade level. Volunteer a few hours at a senior center, and you may be amazed at the results: You can find surrogate grandparents, sure, but you may also find local resources and connections you didn’t know anything about through your new friends.

Host a Jeffersonian dinner.

The typical Jeffersonian dinner — modeled after the historic gatherings Thomas Jefferson used to host at his home Monticello, not after his shady approach to dealing with issues of slavery in the early United States — brings together eight to 15 people to discuss a specific topic — for homeschoolers, that might be how to tackle language arts or thoughts about online classrooms. Keeping the conversation focused on a specific topic means that the people who show up are genuinely interested in the topic of discussion, which may lure people who don’t regularly join into your regular homeschool activities. (Bonus: This kind of structured socialization is introvert-friendly.)

Refocus your routine.

Your regular routine can be a great opportunity to build community. Not only does developing a routine help get you get into the habit of getting out of the house regularly — a habit that can make your community feel bigger all by itself — it also puts you into the path of other people who have similar routines. If you always hit the same park on Friday mornings, visit the library every Tuesday, stop by the coffee shop on Monday, and go shopping at the farmers market on Thursday, you create a rhythm where it’s easy to feel connected to the people at your regular haunts.

Show up if you say yes.

Homeschoolers can be notoriously flaky, and we’ve all had moments where we appreciate the amazing flexibility homeschool life offers. If we want to take off on a field trip to the mountains or watch movies in our pajamas all day, we can! But with freedom comes responsibility, and if you want park days or field trips or social activities for homeschoolers in your community, showing up when you commit is essential. You don’t have to commit to everything, of course, but when there’s an activity that you’re really excited about or that you’d like to see continue in your community, a firm “yes” and actually showing up for it can be the best way to ensure that activity doesn’t vanish. “A ton of work goes into planning classes or activities, and if the turnout is low or people don’t show up, there’s no motivation to keep an activity going,” says Loren, who runs a small homeschool group in southern California. “If someone no-shows twice, I take them off our group’s mailing list.” Just showing up is a big part of building a homeschool community, so be wary of saying “yes” or even “maybe” if you’re not pretty sure you’re willing to follow through.

Manage your expectations.

You may not find the homeschool BFF your child has been dreaming of — but maybe you can find a pal for karate lessons or a buddy for robotics class or a friend for park day. The higher your expectations for a new friend are, the less likely you are to find someone who meets them, so instead of looking for a perfect fit, look for someone who fills a specific community or social need. It’s great to have a math nerd friend to text tricky problems, even if that friend doesn’t also like skateboarding and Minecraft. Expand your notion of friendship to include a wider community instead of pinning your hopes on finding one perfect pal.

Think local first.

I love a one-day Amazon delivery as much as the next homeschool mom, but if you want to build community, shop local, recommends David Downey, CEO of the International Downtown Association in Washington D.C. The surest way to grow your local business community is by shopping and spending time in it, says Downey — so do your weekly debriefing at the coffee shop on the corner instead of the chain store with the big drive-through, or bring your booklist to the independent bookstore on the square. Bonus: These businesses are community businesses, and as you become a familiar face, you’ll start to feel like you really are part of your town’s community.

Offer to lend a hand.

Whether it’s a new family who looks a little lost at homeschool day or a stranger juggling a stack of books and a baby at the library, offering a little assistance is an easy way to connect that makes you feel good even if it doesn’t end up leading to a long-term relationship. If you’re shy about starting conversations with strangers, offering to help can be a great conversation starter. 

5 Ways to Get Excited about Teaching Math Beyond 5th Grade

Don’t dread higher math! Get inspired with these resources that will give you confidence and ideas for middle and high school math in your homeschool.

If math is pushing your buttons, reconsider your perspective. Math beyond the elementary years can be creative, inspiring, and even fun.

Read This : Rethink the Classroom

Finally, an answer to that inevitable question: “But how will you teach your child calculus?” Wherever you are in your math timeline, you’ll appreciate the existence of MOOCulus, a massive open online course created by Ohio State University mathematics professor Jim Fowler that’s totally reimagining the way people learn higher math.

Watch This : A New Math Philosophy

Getting the right answer is not always the point of math, says math teacher Dan Meyer in the TED Talk “Math Class Needs a Makeover.” If we make fill-in-the-blanks teaching the cornerstone of a kid’s education, of course that kid is going to hate math. Meyer suggests we shift focus to math reasoning, emphasizing figuring out how to solve a problem over filling in the right bubble.

Expert Advice : Throw Away the Textbook

Can’t find the right curriculum? Why not skip that textbook altogether? Sarah Hagan, an Ohio math teacher, has students DIY their own math text- books each year from scratch, using a wild mix of materials (including origami and lots of doodles). Hagan says it makes math more personal and helps kids remember what they’ve learned.

Read This : Shift Your Emphasis

“I don’t see how it’s doing society any good to have its members walking around with vague memories of algebraic formulas and geometric diagrams, and clear memories of hating them.” writes mathematician Paul Lockhart in “A Mathematician’s Lament.” This essay is an impassioned criticism of classroom math and its negative lifetime effects on so many students.

Be Confident : Embrace Your Inner Genius

NPR’s Math Guy Keith Devlin thinks math is everywhere — and we learn it best not in a classroom but out in the real world, doing real-life math and observing real-life math-ing in nature. If you’re feeling math-insecure, boost your confidence with Devlin’s The Math Instinct: Why You're a Mathematical Genius (Along with Lobsters, Birds, Cats, and Dogs).

The Modern Homeschoolers’ Guide to Dealing — Politely — When People Are Rude about Homeschooling

Why do people feel like it’s OK to make rude or intrusive comments about homeschoolers? We don’t know, but being prepared with a polite response when they (almost inevitably!) do can help keep their rudeness from getting under your skin.

When Holly Rauser announced to her family that she would be homeschooling her first child, her mother was horrified. 

“I only know one girl who was homeschooled, and she was weird,” Rauser’s mom protested.

“I know hundreds of people who went to public school or private school, and some of them are beyond weird,” Rauser retorted.

Looking back, Rauser — an etiquette coach who is working on developing a homeschool etiquette curriculum for teens — acknowledges that she might have been less confrontational. But like many homeschoolers, she found herself in a weird social situation where people felt comfortable making very personal comments about her choices. Homeschooling isn’t the weird, crunchy-granola or hyper-religious activity it once was (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but it’s still not mainstream enough to be unremarkable. And just as strangers feel entitled to touch a pregnant woman’s burgeoning belly, they can feel entitled to weigh in on your homeschool choices and success. And sadly, even fellow homeschoolers aren’t immune from rude behavior. 

There are etiquette books on everything from minding your manners on Twitter to throwing an engagement party, but homeschool etiquette is a brave new field. So we’ve turned to the experts to help sort out the best way to respond to everything from nosy questions to rude comments.

Your child tells a curious stranger she’s homeschooled, then gets hit with an impromptu quiz on multiplication tables or geography facts.

• What you’d like to say: “Let’s see how you like pop quizzes. What’s the capital of Madagascar?”

• What you should probably say: “You must have loved math when you were in school. Was that your favorite subject?”

Quizzing anyone who hasn’t signed up for your class is just plain rude, says etiquette expert Sue Fox, author Etiquette for Dummies. But the first rule of good manners is not to respond to rudeness with rudeness, so instead of getting snippy, deflect the question by turning it into a conversation, suggests Maralee McKee, an Orlando homeschool mom and author of the book Manners That Matter for Moms.

“Ask them about the subject they bring up — people like to talk about what they know, so someone asking your child about the dates of the Korean War may be a history buff,” she says. “Instead of rebuffing that person, engage him.”

If you’re quick-witted, humor can also defuse the situation. Saying something like “We usually do a little cardio before our quizzes” lets the question asker know that you’re not comfortable with the quizzing without making a big thing out of it.

Just as important as how you handle these stranger interrogations is how your child handles them. Very young kids can get away with saying “I’m not allowed to talk to strangers,” but as children get older, they should be able to deal with an unexpected pop quiz using the same bounce-back method you’d use. A smile and a laughing response like “I usually do better on written tests,” will not only refocus the conversation; it will also help dispel the notion that homeschoolers are socially awkward or academic automatons.

If your child does end up blindsided by a self-appointed quizmaster and can’t answer the questions, support him. If you catch the tail end of the conversation, shift the focus to one of your child’s strong points: “Next time, ask him about dinosaurs. He knows more about the Mesozoic Era than I do.” Otherwise, let your child know when you’re alone again that the quizzer was out of line and that his academic work is up to snuff as far as you’re concerned: “It’s really rude to put people on the spot like that. I would have felt really confused and frustrated if someone came up to me and started quizzing me. I’m not sure I would have been able to come up with answers off the top of my head either.”

Homeschooling is going great, but you’re tired of having to defend your educational choices. Every time you get together with your family, someone questions your decision to homeschool.

• What you’d like to say: “What we do with our kids’ education is none of your business, so shut about it already!”

• What you should probably say: “I’ve listened to you, and I really hear what you’re saying. I am glad you love our children so much that you worry about their wellbeing. But now, I need you to understand that I love them, too, and they are our children. You have to know that I would not do something that I did not believe with all my heart was best for them. And right now, what’s best for them is homeschooling. We have made our decision.”

You can’t really fault a grandmother — or an aunt, or a brother-in-law — for caring enough about your children to express an opinion. After all, you want your family to care about your kids. “But ultimately, they’re your children, and you’re the one who is responsible for deciding what is best for them,” says McKee. Unlike rude strangers, who are best rebuffed by distraction, dealing with family etiquette blunders is something you should tackle directly. 

Start by doing one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do: Just listen. Let your mother-in-law obsess about the perils of non-school socialization, let your dad worry that your weak math skills will make it impossible for you to teach your children math, let your sister obsess about how hard it will be for your kids to get into college. Resist the urge to counter with facts or opinions of your own — just listen. When your mother-in-law is done expressing her concerns — and only then — calmly and simply explain your own perspective: “You know, I was worried about socialization, too, but I find that my kids have even more opportunities to socialize with other kids now that we’re homeschooling and they aren’t stuck behind a desk all day,” or “I definitely hope my kids will be better at math than I am. That’s why I’m using this really great program that walks us through everything step by step. If we ever reach a point where I feel like I can’t teach them, there are some great homeschool math classes I can sign them up for.” Don’t get into too many details; you want to address the concern without falling into the trap of justifying your choices, explains McKee.

It’s unlikely that whatever you say — however intelligently reasoned or expressed — will change your mother-in-law’s mind about homeschooling. Like politics or religion, homeschooling can bring out strong opinions that aren’t easily shaken. You don’t have to change your dad’s mind — and good manners dictates that you shouldn’t even try, says McKee. Instead, you should focus on making him feel like his concerns matter to you, even if you don’t agree with him. Let him know you’ve heard what he has to say and care about it, but you’ve made your own decision. Then, resist the urge to get pulled back in. If the topic comes up again, say “I know you feel that way, Dad, but we’ve made our decision.” 

If your family member just won’t let it drop, you’ll need to take a firmer position. (It’s best for the person who’s directly related to the worrier to handle this since these conversations can be tricky, says McKee.) Say, “I understand that you don’t understand our decision. But I ask that you respect it.” Repeat this whenever the topic comes up, and eventually you’ll quell the commentary.

And take heart: While your words may never convince your mother-in-law you’re doing the right thing, your results may win her over in time. Rauser spent years asking her family not to second-guess her decision to homeschool. “Now my mom is proud to announce that her grandchildren were homeschooled because they turned out so well,” Rauser says.

You’re having a perfectly nice conversation with another mom on the playground when you mention that you homeschool. “Oh, wow, I could never be around my kids all day,” she says.

• What you’d like to say: “I could never be around your kids all day either.”

• What you should probably say: “I love the new landscaping they’ve done by the pavilion. Are those tulips?”

When another mom makes a comment like this, your immediate response is to feel embarrassed and flustered. Are you weird because you don’t mind hanging out with your kids all day? Is she weird because she can’t imagine hanging out with her own kids all day? Before you start stammering an apologetic explanation about how homeschoolers have hard days, too, take a deep breath. When someone makes a comment like this, she’s not usually looking for a response at all, says Rauser. If you smile and change the subject, you’ll defuse the moment before it even has a chance to become awkward.

If ignoring her comment feels too rude, McKee recommends acknowledging the other mom’s perspective without going into lots of details about your own. Say, “Well, there are some days where I would agree with you, but for the most part, it’s a pleasure.” Then switch the subject. While you may feel like this mom is putting you on some kind of Super Mommy pedestal, if you try to respond to her comment with a lengthy explanation of how great your kids are or an uneasy treatise on your failings as a mom, you’ll make both of you uncomfortable. Treat comments like this as off-hand remarks that require minimal response on your part, and you’ll be able to continue your conversation comfortably.

You mention to someone that your kids are homeschooled, and she immediately asks, “Why do you homeschool?”

• What you’d like to say: “None of your business!”

• What you should probably say: “Why do you ask?”

Some homeschoolers want to shout their educational choices from the rooftops, but for other families, the decision to homeschool may be more personal. Knowing why someone is asking you about homeschooling is the key to answering this question politely, says McKee. “People who are just being nosy deserve a minimalist answer — ‘It just feels like the right thing for our kids for right now,’ is true and nonspecific — but you may be surprised by people’s reasons for asking and want to give a different answer.”

McKee speaks from experience: More than once, a stranger has asked her reasons for homeschooling only to admit that she’s considering homeschooling herself.

“This is one of those situations where you can really be an ambassador for homeschooling,” says McKee. “Someone might have a good reason for asking, and you might be able to help point them in the right direction.” And if someone’s just prying? Well, you can smile and give a brief answer before changing the subject.

How do you deal with competitive homeschool parents?

One of the moms at our regular park day wants to turn every learning-related conversation into a competition where her kids are smarter and better than everyone else. How can I politely shut her down?  

If you started homeschooling to get away from competitive education, you may be out of luck. For every chill, laidback homeschooler who’s never looked at her child’s test scores, there’s a homeschooling mom who watches her — and your — child’s academic progress like a hawk. Your son loves Harry Potter? Her daughter just finished War and Peace. Your daughter is finishing up her math workbook? Her son found that particular curriculum way too easy. Your son loves his new art class? Her son is repainting the Sistine Chapel. Whatever you’re talking about, the conversation always seems to veer to how smart/talented/superior her child is.

Before you get grumpy, consider the fact that this mom may be facing criticism from her family or insecurity about her own abilities to be a successful homeschool parent. She may be aggressive because she feels like she has to convince other people that her child is doing well. While that knowledge won’t make her behavior any less irritating, it can help you deal with it politely, says Maralee McKee, an Orlando homeschool mom and author of the book Manners That Matter for Moms. For starters, resist getting drawn into specifics: The more details you give, the more ammunition she has for comparison. Be vague: “Oh, we’re always reading, but I don’t know what’s on the list off the top of my head,” or “We’re doing pretty well in math right now, but I’m afraid if I talk about it too much, I’ll jinx it.”

If she keeps pushing, it’s perfectly acceptable to let her know you’re not interested in the conversation: “All we’ve done is talk about school stuff! I’d love to know more about that farmers market you were talking to Susan about” or “Jordan’s reading list is under control, but I’m looking for something to read myself. Have you read any good books lately?” And if your polite diversions don’t have any effect, you’re well within your mannerly rights to excuse yourself and relocate your blanket to another part of the playground.

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Planning to Go Back to Work When You’re Done Homeschooling? Here's What You Should Know

If you’re planning to return to work when your homeschooling days are done, now—right now—is the time to start getting ready for career reentry

 It’s the thing we all dread: That moment in the future, in two years or ten years or twenty years, when we have to sit down in front of a computer and try to figure out how to fit a decade-plus of homeschooling into our resume.

Whatever your reasons for returning to the world of work, you couldn’t have picked a less hospitable time. Moms returning to the workforce have never had it easy — a Cornell University study found that just being a mom makes you half as likely to get called for an interview than your single peers. And now, with the economic downturn and high levels of unemployment, you’re going to be competing for jobs with other unemployed people who have more current experience than you do. How, then, can a mama with a hefty, homeschool-size gap in her resume, track down a gig in this competitive climate? The key is to start preparing for your job hunt right now, well before you’re actually in the market for a new job. Homeschooling has probably helped you hone and develop all kinds of new skills, but you will have to help companies understand your value — and to do that, you’ll need to speak a language that they understand. Here’s how to set the wheels in motion for your return to the working world.

Revisit your options.

If you’ve been out of the workforce for a while, consider whether the work you left is the work you want to return to. The degree you earned two decades ago may no longer be the right fit, and making the switch to a career you’re genuinely excited about can be liberating. Not sure where your career passions lie? Think about what people always compliment you on, suggests Whitney Johnson, author of Dare, Dream, Do. That could point you toward your next career act.

Plug back in to your field.

Knowing the buzz on issues and current players in your field keeps you from seeming like an out-of-touch, out-of-the- game applicant. make a point to get back up to speed by subscribing to a major newspaper, such as The New York Times or the Wall Street Journal, and any go-to journals in your field. (Bonus: This kind of reading can inspire all kinds of fun homeschool connections.)

Reconnect to your professional network.

Ideally, you’d still be in touch with old bosses and coworkers, but realistically, you’ve probably been too swamped to even think about people you once worked with. That’s okay. You can start rebuilding your network now by reaching out to old work connections (Linkedin and other social media is great for this — you can reach out without feeling as awkward as you might about a phone call or email) and considering who your new connections might be: the photographer who shoots your co-op yearbook? The marketing director at the animal shelter where you volunteer? Establish your new network, and make a point of reaching out to the people in it every few months. When you’re ready to start job-hunting, your network will already be in place.

Make the most of volunteer time. 

Volunteer work works for your resume. so be strategic with volunteer efforts, and look for opportunities that will grow your resume in the direction you want it to go — whether you’re writing a monthly newsletter, soliciting community donations, or planning a donor party, community service can boost your resume with current skills. Most career counselors advise not putting “homeschool mom” on your resume, but that doesn’t mean you can’t include volunteer projects you tackled while being a homeschool mom. Running a co-op or teaching a weekly science class for three years running is absolutely resume-worthy.

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The Homeschooler’s Bill of Rights

There is no single right way to homeschool. What works for your family is right for your family—and if that right thing changes from year to year (or month to month), that’s okay. These homeschoolers are life learning on their own terms, and you can, too.

You have the right to outsource everything.

There are a lot of things I love about homeschooling. I love how relaxed our mornings are. I love how my daughter gets to focus on what she loves. (Right now it’s chemistry and soccer.) I love how much I’ve learned myself. But I don’t actually love teaching my teenage daughter—and now, I don’t. Hailey takes classes online and at a nearby college, through dual enrollment. Sometimes we talk about what she’s learning, but I’m not her teacher or even her co-learner. I’m just her mom.

I was actually excited about homeschooling when we decided to pull Hailey out of school during her first year of 6th grade. (Cue the usual stories of mean girls, bullying, and unhelpful school administration.) That first year was really terrible, though. Our kitchen table felt like a battleground. I wasn’t confident in my own knowledge — so many countries had rearranged themselves since I learned geography, and apparently you really don’t use pre-algebra that often in real life because I was always getting confused trying to explain problems.

A friend recommended our state’s cyber academy, which we joined in 7th grade. They sent us big boxes with all the books and supplies Hailey would need for her classes. Technically, Hailey was enrolled in the public school system, but for all intents and purposes, she was a homeschooler, logging into her online classes from home. Even though the workload was a little heavy and we opted not to continue with that program, 7th grade was a huge improvement over 6th grade. We really found our stride in 8th grade, signing up for some classes online and taking some classes through a local homeschool group. Obviously I’m around if Hailey needs help or has a question, but I’m not her primary teacher for anything, and for us, it’s much better that way.

Someone at a homeschool group asked me if we considered ourselves homeschoolers even though Hailey doesn’t do any subjects with just me, but I think we’re definitely homeschoolers. In my opinion, homeschooling is about figuring out what your kid needs and finding a way to make it happen for them. That’s exactly what I’ve done for Hailey—and there’s no way I would have been able to discover that without homeschooling. —Jamie C.*

You have the right to change your mind.

Once upon a time, I was the most gung-ho homeschooler you could hope to meet. I knew from the day my oldest son was born that I wanted to homeschool. I help found a secular homeschool co-op in our town and served on the board in various roles for almost a decade. And then, last year, I sent my kids back to school. My oldest was in 8th grade, and his brothers were in 5th and 3rd grade.

There were so many things I liked about homeschooling. I loved getting to spend the day with my kids. I loved learning with them. I liked the slowed-down pace of our everyday life, especially compared to the hectic schedules our school friends were dealing with. But I missed having a “real job” and spending time with other grown-ups. I found it hard to find space to mentally and emotionally recharge. I found it harder and harder to walk that line between being my kids’ teacher and their parent. And so, I changed my mind.

I miss homeschooling, but sending the boys back to school has been the right decision for us. They love their teachers, their classes, their friends. I love my job. I feel like homeschooling laid a great foundation for our family—we still learn together, we still make family a priority, it just comes together in a different way now. I like to think that our life now is just another phase of homeschooling since we’re making the learning choices that work best for us as a family. —Alison H.*

 You have the right to use those workbooks.

I have a confession to make: We use workbooks. And I really like them.

When we first started homeschooling and went to our first park day, there was a group of moms making fun of workbook-users. They weren’t doing it to be mean — they definitely didn’t know that I had a little stash of Scott Foresman workbooks in my tote bag. Later, I would get to know these moms. I would understand that when they made fun of workbooks, they were making fun of the school system that had let their kids down. Their experiences with the school system had been bad, and workbooks had been a tangible piece of that experience. Once they got their kids away from fill-in-the-blanks or circle-true-or-false, those kids had bloomed.

But that first day, when I was a brand-new homeschool mom with no idea what I was doing, those comments about workbooks were like a slap in the face. Was I going to give my kids a terrible learning experience? Were they going to be stuck in a little intellectual box because they answered some multiple choice questions every couple of days? Why had I even thought workbooks could ever possibly be a good idea?

So I hid those workbooks in my file cabinet, and I decided that we would do something else. We tried unschooling. We tried narrations, the Charlotte Mason way. We tried Waldorf. But nothing felt like the perfect fit — until I pulled out those workbooks again one rainy day, and they just clicked for us. My daughter liked filling in the blanks and circling the letters. I liked being able to see her progress on the page. We liked workbooks. And so we kept on using them. We’re still using them — not exclusively and not every day, but workbooks are a significant piece of how we learn.

Sometimes other moms still make snide comments about workbook users. Often, I just keep quiet. Every once in a while, though, I’ll say, “We use workbooks.” Not because I want to put those moms in their place but because there are always new homeschoolers at park day, and I think it’s important to recognize that homeschooling can happen lots of different ways. Including with workbooks. —Amanda P.*

You have the right to not use a curriculum.

Every summer, all the homeschool groups and forums I belong to start buzzing about curriculum. What are you going to use, what’s the best program for language arts or math or music? Where are you going to buy it? It’s a conversation that I always feel a little left out of because our family doesn’t use curriculum.

We’re unschoolers — even though I know some unschoolers who use curriculum (usually in a relaxed, child-led way but not always), we don’t use it at all. I think most homeschoolers understand how unschooling works. I feel like I’m always explaining to non-homeschoolers that yes, my kids choose what they want to do all day, and no, we don’t do any sit-down lessons unless they want to learn something specific and ask for them, but yes, my kids can read and write and do math. Homeschoolers — even more traditional ones—understand what unschooling is about, so no one ever seems to look askance at us because we’re living curriculum-free. But the times when everyone else starts obsessing over curriculum are the times when I realize that our choice to unschool is still pretty unusual. 

I don’t worry that my kids won’t learn — every time they have been motivated to know something, they’ve been able to do it with no problem. My daughter mastered basic math skills saving up money for a new laptop, and now she can figure out sales tax in her head faster than I can. My son wanted to learn Spanish because one of his Minecraft server friends is bilingual. We used a free program through the library, and he’s learned enough to pepper his online conversation with Spanish words and phrases. They both learned to read because they played a lot of video games and I wasn’t always available to read the screens to them, and now they both read for fun, too.

I know some unschoolers are pretty vocally anti-curriculum, but I’m not. What works for people works for them. No curriculum works for us. And while it does sometimes make me feel like the odd mom out at our homeschool group, I look at how my kids are learning, and I know I’ve made the right decision for our family. —Lora V.*

You have the right to not push college.

My daughter is a homeschool graduate. She’s about to turn 26, and she didn’t go to college. If you’re a homeschooler, you know that people love to ask “But how will she get into college?” I actually had a lot of answers for that. When Josie was in elementary school, I’d tell people about that homeschool family whose kids had all ended up in Ivy League schools. When she was in middle school, I’d talk about the homeschool advantage — how homeschoolers actually tend to do better on standardized tests and in college classes that kids in traditional schools. By the time Josie was in high school, I could talk about transcripts and SATs and college visits with the authority of any parent of a college-bound kid. Only, as it turned out, Josie wasn’t that interested in going to college. She had gotten interested in photography and slowly built up a photography business during high school, taking senior pictures for the school kids in our neighborhood, at homeschool proms, even at a couple of weddings.

“I’m going to take a gap year and do an apprenticeship with a good wedding photographer,” she told me her senior year.

And, as it turned out, her business kept growing, and she decided she wasn’t that interested in college after all.

At first I felt apologetic. I felt like I had to make excuses about why my bright, homeschooled daughter wasn’t off to some great college like her friends. Then I realized that Josie was doing exactly what our homeschool life had taught her to do: going after what she wanted without getting stuck thinking that there was one right way to get there. I’m so proud of her. There are still times where part of me wishes that she had chosen college, but then I have to remind myself that this wish is about me, it’s about showing the rest of the world that homeschooling was the right decision for us. That I did right by my daughter educationally speaking. Josie doesn’t need that. She’s not wasting any time wondering whether she had a well-rounded education. She’s doing what she loves, and I love that. —Corey H.*

You have the right to give your child a bad grade.

My son has a C in 11th grade English on his transcript.

As homeschoolers, we talk a lot about how grades don’t matter, but when your child starts high school and you have to start thinking about transcripts, you kind of have to think about grades. And they do matter, at least a little, because your transcript is a record of your homeschooler’s academic experiences. If you’re a homeschooler, it’s easy to see that transcript as a measure of your own personal success — or failure.

I assumed that my son’s transcript would be full of good grades. Isn’t that the point of homeschooling? We wouldn’t have to speed up or slow down to accommodate anyone but ourselves. We could play to my son’s strengths. He could pick the classes he wanted to take. There was no way his transcript would have anything but As on it, right?

English has never been my son’s favorite subject, but he’s always done the work. That changed during his junior year — he had four novels on his reading list, and he always had a reason he hadn’t kept up with his reading. Our “book discussions” were basically just him promising that he’d catch up next week. By the time February rolled around, he’d only made it halfway through one of his assigned books. He ended up writing a decent paper on that one book, which he did finally finish, but the comparing and contrasting authors I’d planned never happened.

People talk about mom-made transcripts, and this was the first time I really understood how tempting it is to give your child a good grade no matter what his actual performance was. I have to be honest: There was a big part of me that wanted to just give him a B and move on, trusting that he’d learned to work harder next time. But I knew that wasn’t fair to all those other moms out there making homemade transcripts. We all live under the shadow of colleges and universities thinking that we’ve inflated our children’s grades — if I gave my son a better grade than he earned, I’d be making it that much harder for every transcript-making mom. But more importantly, my son hadn’t earned a better grade. He’d had the time and ability to complete his work. He’d had the freedom to decide what that work would be. And he’d chosen not to do it, he’d chosen time with his friends and playing video games and soccer practice over English. That was his choice to make, but it meant he’d earned a C.

I worried that he would be upset, but my son didn’t seem surprised at all. He knew he hadn’t done his best work or even good work. And in his senior English class, he earned an A. He might not have learned everything I thought he should have learned from 11th grade English, but maybe he learned something even more important. —Allyson E.*

* last names omitted for online publication

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7 Signs It’s Time to Outsource Homeschooling

Whether it’s looking into school options, hiring a tutor, or just finding an outside class for a specific subject, sometimes smart secular homeschooling means NOT doing it yourself.

Some homeschoolers happily DIY from kindergarten through graduation, but most of us will face a time when outsourcing — whether it’s one class or the whole shebang — is the best way to preserve our sanity and ensure our child’s education. It’s not because you’re a bad parent or a bad teacher — it’s just because sometimes we all need a little help. Here are some signs that it might be time to explore outside class options for your homeschool:

1. You dread getting started in the morning.

If you’re miserable when it’s time to break out the math books or work on an essay, something needs to change. Everyone hits bumpy patches, but if your bumpy patch feels like it’s dragging on and on, a different teacher might be what you both need.

2. You’re starting to dislike your kid.

No parent-child relationship is going to be non-stop rainbows and sunshine, but you may need to shift gears if butting heads over worksheets is having a persistent, negative effect on your relationship. If you’ve starting asking yourself things like “why is my child so stubborn?” or “why does he always complain?,” it’s a sign you need a break.

3. You aren’t doing a good job.

If you’re operating on autopilot, doing the bare minimum, or just plain never doing your best work, it might make sense to put your energy into what you do well and let someone else take over where you’re falling short.

4. You’re bored.

You can’t fake enthusiasm, but you can hire it. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that a particular subject doesn’t get you excited. 

5. Your student is super-critical.

If you’re getting lots of negative feedback on subject matter, assignments, or your teaching style, there’s nothing wrong with testing whether another teacher might be a better fit.

6. It’s crazy-expensive.

If curriculum or supplies for a particular subject cost more than an outside class would, weigh the benefits of doing it yourself before writing that check.

7. Your instincts tell you it’s time.

You’ve spent years learning to hear what your gut is telling you about what’s right for your child. Don’t stop trusting it now.

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How do I homeschool a subject I don’t know much about?

My daughter wants to study Latin — which is great, except that there aren’t any homeschool Latin classes in our area, and Latin is — well, Greek to me. Is it possible to succeed in teaching a subject when I know almost nothing about it?

As you move into middle and high school, you may find yourself with a kid who wants to take classes outside your knowledge base. It’s totally, absolutely, 100-percent okay to outsource those classes, either by using a plug-and-play curriculum that gives you step-by-step guidance, signing up for online or in-person classes, or joining a co-op where another parent can take over. The older your student gets, the more important outsourcing will become in your homeschool life. But don’t think outsourcing is your only option: You can teach a class you know nothing about — and teach it well.

The key is to drop the mantle of teacher and put on the mantle of fellow student so that you and your child become learning partners. For this to work, you’ve got to tackle the topic together. How do you do this? It breaks down into three simple steps:

Be upfront with your student: “I don’t know much more about Latin than you do, but I’m excited to learn about it with you.” It’s important to talk about this with your student and to really listen to what she has to say — maybe she’ll be thrilled to continue your learning-together tradition, or maybe she’ll be concerned about whether your Latin adventure will adequately prepare her for the college classics classes she wants to take. Don’t let your ego or your desire to teach everything get in the way of what’s right for your student — if she’s looking for an academically rigorous course and you aren’t confident your plan will deliver it, consider other options. Making the choice that works for your particular kid always counts as successful homeschooling.

Be prepared for a big commitment. Self-directed learning can be invigorating and exciting, but it isn’t easy — expect to spend a lot of time and energy resources in pursuing an unfamiliar subject. For this kind of learning to work, you can’t expect your student to do anything that you’re not doing yourself, from memorizing vocabulary cards to working through translations. You want to keep pace with your student, but you also want to set the pace for the class so that you’re progressing. Expect to spend at least a couple of hours a week working on your own for this class, in addition to the time you spend working with your child.

Choose a simple, straightforward program with a workbook or lots of exercises to give you plenty of practice with concepts. (We use Ecce Romani for Latin, which I really like.) It’s scary to think about taking on an unfamiliar subject in your homeschool, but if it’s something you’re interesting in learning about, too, this kind of learning together can be a homeschooling win-win.

This Q&A is reprinted from the summer 2016 issue of HSL. (We’re Amazon affiliates, so if you purchase something through an Amazon link, we may receive a small percentage of the sale. Obviously this doesn’t influence what we recommend, and we link to places other than Amazon.)

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Our Favorite Homeschool School Supplies

Did we become homeschoolers just so we have an excuse to buy all the school supplies? Shhh.

Never underestimate the allure of shiny new school supplies. I don’t care if you’re an unschooler, a high school homeschooler, or just a mom standing in front of a back-to-school notebook display, there is something about school supplies that just speaks to the heart of the human experience. Too much? OK, maybe so, but school supplies are pretty magical, and these are the ones making our homeschool especially happy this back-to-school season.

Document Holders with Snap Covers

If you use my super-painless homeschool organization system, you already know that envelope organizers are a secular homeschool mom’s best friend. These have the added bonus of being pretty!

Buy on Amazon

File Folders

I use file folders to organize weekly readings, keep track of writing drafts, trade work back-and-forth with my kids, and keep my fancy cardstock from getting crumpled at the corners. When the kids were little, I color-coded everything, including file folders, but now that they’re older, I opt for the prettiest folders I can find.

Buy on Amazon

Binder Clips

Binder clips play an important role in my homeschool organization system, but they’re honestly just so handy. You can use them to clip together research or writing drafts, to keep folders from spilling their contents all over the place, to keep up with what you’ve done in your curriculum so far — if you always have a container of them on your shelf, you will be surprised by how often you reach for them.

Buy on Amazon

Ellepi Klizia 97 Stapler

Truthfully, my Swingline is our homeschool old reliable stapler (I’ve had this one since our second year of homeschooling — I bought it when she was in 3rd grade, and it’s still going strong as she heads into her junior year of college), but I could not resist this one, which other people call “sleek” and “aesthetic,” but which I think looks like a paper-chomping dinosaur.

Buy on Amazon

Braun BNE001BK

OK, confession time: I cannot use my kids’ graphing calculators without consulting an online tutorial these days. And while I know I can math anything up on my phone app, I really like having a calculator on my desk. So I bought this elegant little version (it’s in MoMA’s architecture and design collection), and it makes me very happy.

Buy on Amazon

Basic Clipboards

This is my only homeschool design hack: Instead of hanging up posters, quotes, etc. on the walls of our homeschool space, I hang up a bunch of cheap clipboards with command strips. This makes it super-easy to show off awesome work; add new quotes, charts, and pictures; and make our homeschool space feel fresh and exciting without having to do a lot of work.

Buy on Amazon

Full Adhesive Sticky Notes

These sticky notes are my new favorite thing — instead of one sticky strip across the top, the whole page is sticky, so they never curl up and fall off. If you, like me, tend to map out big projects on the wall with sticky notes or to use sticky notes to have silent conversations with your students, these are a game-changer in the best way.

Buy on Amazon

To-Do List Sticky Notes

Now that my youngest is in high school, our productive times don’t overlap as neatly as they used to — I am up and going early in the morning, but they aren’t usually ready to dig into anything until after lunch. These sticky to-do lists help us navigate our different schedules — I’ll leave one on my kid’s notebook in the morning, and I’ll often wake up to one they’ve left on my computer. Obviously we could just use scratch paper, but these sticky pads are so cute.

Buy on Amazon

Sticky Tabs

Are you even homeschooling if you don’t have sticky tabs poking out the sides of half your library?

Buy on Amazon

Zebra Midliners

I love highlighters, but I find their fluorescent brightness a little off-putting — so discovering these midliners a few years ago was amazing. I use them for annotations, for note-taking, for lecture prep — really, I use them all the time, including times where I don’t even need them, because I like how they look so much.

Buy on Amazon

Time Timer MOD 60-Minute Visual Timer

A basic timer is such an underappreciated homeschool tool. After all, one of the great things about homeschooling is that we never have to be on the clock unless we want to. But timers can really be a great tool for homeschooling middle and high school — when kids are overwhelmed by a task, set a timer, and see what you can get done in 10 minutes or 15 minutes. The time limit takes some of the open-ended stress out. Set a timer for subjects where practice is important but annoying — 20 minutes of focused, concentrated math can feel manageable in a way that a less structured math class doesn’t. Timers can also make clean-up more collaborative — set your timer, and everyone pitches in to clean up the chemistry experiment or board game for however long.

Buy on Amazon

HoveBeaty Hand-Blown Hourglass

It’s basically a 15-minute timer, but so much fancier.

Buy on Amazon

Sharper Image Light Up Electronic Word Clock

Speaking of time management, Suzanne was skeptical when I bought this clock with words instead of numerals, but every single person who walks inside the Academy falls in love with it. It’s true, if you’re going for to-the-second precision, there are better options, but I’m going to keep insisting that you cannot beat this for a cool homeschool clock.

Buy on Amazon

Anchor Pro under-desk headphone hanger

This is one of those gadgets that you didn’t know you needed and now can’t live without for us. My kid is very big into Outschool (our favorite teacher is Michael Schwartz if you have improv nerds, too!), so these next couple of school supplies are really gadgets that make our online workspace more comfortable. This little hook attaches underneath your table to hold your headphones when you’re not using them — so they’re never in the way, and you never have to spend the 10 minutes before class hunting for them.

Buy on Amazon

Soundance Laptop Stand

Similar to the headphone holder above, this laptop stand makes online classes so much more comfortable. Who knew? I’m always reluctant to buy something that takes up desk space, but this has been totally worth it.

Buy on Amazon

Bentgo Classic - All-in-One Stackable Bento Lunch Box Container

We seem to spend a lot of time NOT at home these days, and that means I have to think about lunch more than I would like. I’m a fan of this laidback little lunchbox — it’s big enough to satisfy a teenager’s appetite but still compact enough to travel easily. (And I really like that it comes with built-in utensils.)

Buy on Amazon

Fjallraven Kanken Laptop Backpack

I’m including this because it’s the one thing my very un-acquisitive homeschooled teenager requested for not-back-to-school this year, and it turns out to be kind of an awesome bag for carrying around your laptop and a bunch of books.

Buy on Amazon

Palomino Golden Bear #2 Pencil

I used to be Team Ticonderoga all the way, but they’ve slipped in recent years, I think. My favorite pencil these days is the Palomino Blackwing 602, but they’re a little spendy when you’re buying in bulk. So these are now my homeschool pencil of choice: the Palomino Golden Bear #2 Pencil. The erasers work well, the pencil lead is clear and dark, and they feel good in your hand.

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Secular Homeschoolers Unite T-Shirt

Don’t test-drive a new park day without one! (But really, haven’t you always wished there was an easy way to identify your fellow secular homeschoolers in the wild?)

Prismacolor Premier Colored Pencils (72-Pack)

You probably don’t NEED a whole new box of colored pencils, but I always buy one this time of year anyway. (I bring the old ones to our art supply box at our homeschool group so they don’t get wasted and I can enjoy my new pencils guilt-free.) Don’t forget the Prismacolor Premier Pencil Sharpener!

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Uni Jetstream Slim Multi-Color Pen

I love annotating — here’s how we do it — but sometimes hauling around a stack of colored pens is just inconvenient. Still, colored annotations can be really useful. This pen saves the day — it will remind you of those amazing four-color pens we used to own in middle school (you can still buy those!), but this version is slimmer and easier to write with. If you’re introducing annotating this year and want to make a little annotation supply kit for your teenager, definitely add this pen to it!

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Le Pen 12-Color Set (Micro Fine Point)

These were my absolute favorite pens in middle and high school, and I still need a new pack every year. I use them for the increasingly complicated family calendar, but mostly I use them for writing letters to my best friend, who appreciates their multi-color magic. (I used to use them for my bullet journal, but I went digital this year! See below for details.)

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Lamy Safari Fountain Pen

I really thought my kids would be fountain pen people, and it turns out neither of them are — but I am, so I definitely recommend at least giving your kids a chance to see if they, too, are nerdy fountain pen lovers. This is a lovely but not-too-expensive one to try out.

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Pentel Fude Touch Sign Pen

You know how sometimes, with the right pen, everything you write just looks amazing? This is the right pen. (You can pick up some of this correction tape in case your gorgeous handwriting is so mesmerizing that you skip some letters. It’s a known risk.)

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Yoobi Fuzzy Llama Pencil Pouch

You don’t need a pencil case, but don’t you kind of want this one? I do.

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Midori MD Notebook

My teens both love these dot-gridded notebooks, which give enough writing guidance so that you can feel confident writing long paragraphs but not so much structure that you feel like there’s no room for doodles and charts. My kids are also averse to the writing texture of that super-smooth, shiny paper, and these notebooks have a nice “scratch” without feeling thin or cheap. We are apparently very picky about paper products over here!

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Dotted notebook pack

I buy these in bulk and keep them everywhere — in my bag, in the car, at our homeschool group, in the kitchen, in the family room — really, everywhere. We use them all the time, for everything from keeping score in Munchkin to writing poetry to figuring out how to move the furniture around in the music room. We can never have too many.

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iPad Mini

I recently (in January) made the switch from the paper bullet journal I have used for 12 years to an iPad bullet journal — and it took some adjustment, but I am loving it. I’ll do a big review when I’ve made it through a year, but if you’re on the fence, I recommend giving it a try. (I got this case because I still wanted it to feel like a notebook, and I opted for the mini size so I can just toss it in my bag like a notebook.) If you want to write in it (which is what I do — there was no way I was going to actually use a planner if I had to switch to typing everything), definitely get the paper screen protector.

Buy on Amazon

Verilux HappyLight Touch Plus therapy lamp

It might be cheating to include this one since I haven’t used it yet, but it is the secular homeschool school supply I am most excited about this year. Winter always gives our homeschool a lingering case of the blues, and some of my friends have raved about this light therapy lamp.

Buy on Amazon

PLAYABLE ART Ball

Because we always need more fidget options for our homeschool!

Buy on Amazon

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4 Easy Ways to Homeschool Lunch

One of the biggest practical challenges of homeschool life is feeding everybody all the time. And lunch — right smack in the middle of your day — can be the biggest challenge of all. These four strategies won’t make lunchtime hassle-free, but they will free up your brain enough to worry about what you're going to do for dinner instead.

Solution 1: Lunchboxes

• Pros: lunch is ready to go whenever you are

• Cons: requires nigh􏰁t-time prep; not always the most budget-friendly option

Take a cue from the school set, and simplify lunchtime by packing it up the night before. Stick with the classics — we like hummus, quinoa, cucumber, and grated carrots on a spinach tortilla or peanut butter, honey, and banana on oatmeal bread for easy sandwiches, with little containers of yogurt, fruit, veggie chips, and a cookie for dessert. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can steal some cute bento box ideas, but kids who don’t pack a lunch every day are likely to be just as excited about a plain sandwich and apple combo. (I get all my best sandwich ideas from the Saltie cookbook.) Make a lunchbox or brown bag for each kid, stash it in the fridge, and lunch is ready to go even before you start your morning coffee. 

Solution 2: Freezer Meals

• Pros: easy on the budget

• Cons: gets boring; does require some advance planning

Once-a-month freezer stocking ensures that you’ll always have a hot lunch at the ready. Our freezer faves include macaroni-and-cheese bowls; black bean and butternut squash burritos; soups and chili; and chicken potpies. There are lots of freezer meal cookbooks out there, but I’ve splattered and dog-eared Not Your Mother’s Make Ahead and Freeze Cookbook enough to recommend it. Freeze meals in individual portions (so you don’t have to listen to a 10-minute argument about whether you should heat up spinach lasagna or kale, sweet potato, and lentil hand pies), pop them in the fridge at bedtime, and they should be ready to heat up for the lunchtime rush.

Solution 3: Snack Plates

• Pros: great for picky eaters, no cooking needed

• Cons: assembly required; can be expensive

The beauty of this cheese plates-inspired lunch is that you can assemble it with all the random bits and pieces in your fridge and cupboards. Presentation is what makes a snack plate like this feel like lunch, so take the time to arrange small wedges of cheese, little stacks of chopped vegetables or fruits, cured or smoked meats, leftover tuna salad, and other hearty nibbles. Add crackers or vegetable chips — homemade or store-bought — and spoonfuls of mustard, jam, chutney, and purees to the plate. Set it out, and the kids can assemble their own lunches from the ingredients. It’s nice to give each kid her own plate, but you can also set up a fancy spread on a serving plate or cutting board for everyone to share.

Solution 4: Emergency Pizza

• Pros: versatile; easy to customize for picky eaters

• Cons: requires last-minute stove time

Until a genius friend introduced me to tortilla pizzas, I always thought pizza was too much hassle for lunchtime. But using a tortilla for a base makes a quick pizza as easy as a grilled cheese sandwich. The usual tomato-mozzarella-mushroom combo is great, but you can get adventurous with pesto topped with leftover grilled chicken, veggies, and fontina cheese; butternut squash puree topped with goat cheese and bacon; or even hummus with crispy chickpeas, avocados, and roasted garlic. Lay your tortilla flat in a cast-iron skillet, layer on toppings and cheese, and let it bake in a 375-degree oven for about 13 to 14 minutes, until the edges are lightly browned and crispy.

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How can I get people to stop talking about our decision to homeschool?

The first rule of defending your homeschool decisions is also the most liberating: You have no obligation to justify or explain yourself to anyone who isn’t your co-parent. Period.

We have decided to homeschool our 9-year-old this year, and I’m really excited. But everybody seems to have an opinion about it. My mom. Our neighbors. The lady behind me in the checkout line at the supermarket. No one ever asked questions or second-guessed our decision to send him to public school, but everybody seems to want to weigh in our decision to homeschool. I feel good about our decision, but the constant questioning is really weighing me down.

I feel like homeschooling is right up there with being pregnant when it comes to people thinking that things that are clearly Your Business are suddenly Everybody’s Business. And while it’s nice to celebrate the whole it-takes-a-village piece of it, it is incredibly frustrating to feel like you’re constantly defending a decision that you have every right to make. It’s insulting — do they really think you have just spontaneously made this huge decision about your child’s life on the fly with no real thought or consideration? — and it’s stressful — you’re already worried about finding the right resources and making it all work without other people trying to add more worries to your pot.

The first rule of defending your parenting decisions is also the most liberating: You have no obligation to justify or explain yourself to anyone. Period. A stranger at the supermarket? A random parent on the playground? You can pull out my grandmother’s go-to response to nosy people, and just say, “What an odd thing to say/ask.” The key to this isn't the words, it's the uncomfortably long pause afterwards that you don't try to fill, where you just look at them as though you’re trying to understand this incredibly strange behavior that you don’t know how to respond to. Usually this awkwardness is enough to change the subject, but if it’s not, you can say, flatly, “It’s weird that you’re trying to insert yourself into my parenting decisions. Please stop.” Resist the urge to explain your thinking, cite your sources, or otherwise justify yourself — give yourself permission to just say, “I’m not explaining this to you because it’s none of your business."

Of course, there are people whose opinions matter to you — your mom, your favorite carpool friend, your nice neighbor. In these instances, you still don’t need to justify your decision, but you want to remind the person in question that (1) this is your choice to make, not theirs and (2) you have put a lot more thought into making this decision than they have put into questioning it. A good script is something like: “I know you’re surprised/concerned by this choice, but I know you also know how much I love Liam and want to do the right thing for him as his parent. Trust me: I feel really good about homeschooling, and I’d like your support.” If they keep pushing, you can just say, “Ultimately, I feel good about this decision, and I’m not going to change my mind. I’d like your support. Can you give it to me?” If the answer is any form of no, you can say, “OK, I hear you — but I’m done discussing this, so let’s talk about something else.” With some people, you may have to go even further, and say, “I can tell you need to talk about this, but I am not the person you need to talk to. Do you need me to give you some space to process this? Or can we talk about other things?”

I think we have a tendency to want to smooth things over, to want to explain ourselves to people because we want to be understood. But we can’t always get that in conversations about homeschooling — instead, we can get pulled into a cycle of feeling that we’re always justifying our decision. That’s not our job, though! We owe ourselves and our children careful, thoughtful decision-making, but we don’t owe that to anyone else, and it’s OK to take a (polite) step back and refuse to engage. 

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How to Transform the Homeschool You Have into the Homeschool You Really Want

If you’ve ever felt like the homeschool you really want just isn’t happening, I have good news: You have the power to change your homeschool for the happier. All you need is a clear vision of where you are now, a little imagination, and a plan for moving forward.

1 : Understand What You Really Want

The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you really want. That sounds simple, but this is where people often get hung up on vague ideas or not-quite-thought-out scenarios.

How do you want your homeschool to feel? What do you want it to accomplish? Life coach Erin Michaelson recommends borrowing a trick from the home decorating world and creating an inspiration board for your homeschool.

“Choose images and words that reflect the way you want your homeschool to feel,” says Michaels. “Don’t overthink it — just grab the images that appeal to you and start pinning them on a wall or Pinterest board.”

Your dream board may look different from what you imagined — maybe you had visions of a nature-centered Waldorf environment, but all your pictures are of cozy book nooks. That’s okay, says Michaelson. “Often, we don’t know exactly what we’re looking for until we start to pin it down. Sometimes, that disconnect can make us feel permanently dissatisfied because we haven’t taken the time to understand what we really want — we’re working toward the wrong things and trying to figure out why we’re so unhappy.”

Really focus on what you want — not on what seems affordable, or reasonable, or doable in your current situation.This is your chance to dream big.

2 : Know Where You Are

You need to know where you are before you can figure out how to go anywhere.

You probably spend a lot of time thinking about what you’d like your homeschool to be, but it’s equally important to understand where you are. Start another inspiration board to capture your current homeschool life: What is a typical day like? What do you do all day? How do you feel? How does your day look?

Find words and pictures that reflect your homeschool as it actually is right now —and be honest. There will probably be good parts and parts that aren’t so photogenic — that’s okay. Go ahead and include what feels true, which may include messes and arguments, unfinished projects and kids playing video games all day. This is where you are, and it’s essential to have a clear picture of where exactly that is.

You probably have a clear idea of the things that aren’t going right, and that’s part of this project. But don’t neglect the things that are working for you, whether it’s little things like finally finding the perfect pencil sharpener or bigger-picture things like figuring out the right bedtime routine. Here are some things to consider:

• Curriculum

  • Think both about the curriculum you are using and the subjects where you aren’t using curriculum. What’s working? What isn’t? What’s getting done, and what’s perpetually on your yeah-I-should-really-get-around- to-that list? What do your kids look forward to, and what do they dread?

• Routine

  • What do your mornings look like? How do your aernoons feel? How do your days wind up? Pay attention to the parts of your routine that work really well and to the parts that aren’t really working. When do you feel the happiest? When is everyone the most productive? Definitely consider the parts of your day that fall under the traditional homeschool umbrella — the times when you are learning or working in focused ways — but give attention to the rest of your day, too, which is an important part of your family’s regular routine.

• Yourself 

  • This is one of those things that you might not usually give a lot of your energy to thinking about, but how you feel about yourself can play an important role in your homeschool. How do you feel during the day? What do you look like? What’s the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep? Sometimes, it’s not your homeschool that’s the problem — it’s you. Months or years of concentrated, non-stop effort without a break can slowly erode your patience, your immune system, and your overall happiness. If you suspect that you’re just plain worn out — not an uncommon problem for homeschool parents! — take a mini vacation to clear your head before you decide to change anything.

3 : What’s Missing?

Here’s where things get fun: You’re going to plot a course to start transforming the homeschool you have right now into the homeschool you really want.

A lot of inspiration boards start and end with step one, but to really start to make your happiest homeschool come to life, keep going. Create a follow-up dream board for each of the important elements in your main inspiration board.

For example, if you collected lots of photos of happy families making art in a sunny room but art is always getting shoved off your to-do list, start a list called “Let’s Do Art.” Start adding images of what you imagine your ideal art home- school would look like — cool pictures and projects, a big table, great art supplies, a gallery wall running up your staircase, etc. Do this for all the repeated images that you put together in step one: Maybe you’ll have a page for field trips or carschooling, a page for a super-organized homeschool room, or a page full of nature activities. You might have a page of a happy, well-adjusted student settling into college life or a page of mom outfits that don’t involve yoga pants — anything that you pinned to your dream board more than once should get fleshed out with more images and details. Don’t try to convince yourself that anything is unimportant or unnecessary — you may end up needing to set priorities down the road, but this is not that time. It’s okay if this process takes a while, too — there’s no need to rush.

“It’s tempting to jump right into thinking about what you need to do to get from Point A to Point B, but it’s important to really give yourself room to explore the Point B you want to reach,” says Michaelson. “Pretend that you have all the money/time/ space/whatever in the world: What does this particular thing you want look like?”

4 : Let Go

Just as it makes sense to hone in on the specifics of what you really want, it’s important to spend some time considering the parts of your current life that you’d like to change.

Make a page for each thing that’s not working: A schedule that feels too hectic, arguing kids, a perpetual mess, that permanently frazzled feeling you have at the end of every week — whatever it is that’s making your homeschool feel stressful or boring or unhappy. Collect images and ideas for changing these difficult moments: You may want to search for ideas online or in magazines or ask friends for advice about strategies that have worked for them.

“A lot of times, we get so caught up in trying to figure out what’s causing a problem that we never actually address the problem,” says Joshua Holland, a career advisor who specializes in helping people align their career paths with their passions. “Sometimes, though, your time is better spent moving forward in a productive way.”

Instead of wondering why your kids grouch out over morning math or why you fall apart every night after park day, think about what you might be able to do differently to change that problem part of your day. Knowing what you want to avoid is just as important as knowing what you want to concentrate on.

5 : Collect Supplies

Only now is it time to start actually making changes — and that’s because now you know what you really want and how to get it.

You can start with adding things you want or with trying to erase things that you aren’t happy with, but it’s usually more fun — and maybe more straightforward — to begin with adding something new. For example, if your wish-list includes more nature time, you might start by checking out a stack of nature guides from the library to familiarize yourself with local plants and wildlife or sign up for a naturalist-led hike at a nature center. Start spending more un- structured time in the backyard, or set up a bird feeder near the window. Add a daily nature sketch to your journal or challenge your- self to take a nature photo every day. Your goal here isn’t to jump in with a new curriculum or a structured plan of study; instead, you want to incorporate your new experience into your life. Once it feels like it fits naturally into your routine, you may want to look for a curriculum or classes, but for now, you just want to get comfortable.

“Give yourself space to figure out how this thing you want for your homeschool fits into your actual life without the pressure of spending lots of money or time on a curriculum,” says Michelson. In other words, don’t be tempted by quick-and-easy solutions: Some things you will try during this time will be revelatory — they may change your homeschool forever and for the better — but many will just be okay and some will be total failures. Commitment is the last thing you want right now — the thing you need is freedom to figure out what works and what doesn’t.

Follow the same procedure to change the things that don’t work. Try earlier bedtimes or saving math until after lunch if you feel frazzled. Sort and toss artwork every week to minimize clutter, or set up a specific shelf for library books so they don’t get lost. Experiment with lots of small, different things to find the ones that work for you.

6 : Move Forward

The process of creating your ideal homeschool is an ongoing one. Every year, the rhythms and needs of your homeschool will change, and you’ll begin this process all over again.

In other words, this is a continuous process, so keep updating your dream boards as your experiences dictate: Maybe free access to all the art materials got too messy, and art study works better one medium at a time. Pull those overstocked art cabinets off your inspiration board and replace them with station-style art storage. Maybe school outside is distracting, and it makes more sense for your family to do hands-on learning inside. Update your dream board with photos of attractive learning spaces. You may find that the more you focus on reading aloud, the better your homeschool works — add more pictures of books and reading to your dream board. Images and ideas will go up and come down — that’s totally normal. Your homeschool is a work in progress.

You can also update your real homeschool board as you find things that work for you: Add that great science curriculum or the writing program that really worked. Add the covers of books you’ve read together and loved or posters from movies that had an impact on your homeschool. Take photos of your own happy, smiling kids to paste on your board, or add tickets from movies, museums, and concerts.

Let the board of your homeschool life gradually evolve to reflect your dream homeschool.

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Homeschool Summer Reading Guide 2023

What should you read this summer? Whatever you want!

What should read this summer? Whatever you want! But if you’re looking for a summer reading challenge, we’ve got you covered with Summer Reading Bingo — you can win by finishing a row or column, or get ambitious and complete the entire card. (Download your card here!) Whatever you decide, we’ve rounded up some books you might want to add to your list — some slot neatly into Bingo categories; others are just great reads that might tick off a particular category for you personally (even if’s just “a book you want to read”). Happy reading!

5 New Graphic Novels

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• Four Eyes

  Middle school is hard enough — Rex’s best friend seems to migrating to the cool crowd, Rex is embarrassed about being on the free lunch program, and why won’t his locker open? — but it gets even harder when Rex needs glasses, and he ends up with the ugliest pair in the store. This funny-tender graphic novel has a Raina Telgemeier vibe. (Middle grades)

• Hoops

  Travel back to 1975, when Title IX opens the door for a girl’s basketball team at Judi’s Indiana high school. The girls’ sports budget is a joke — while the boys get fancy uniform they send out to be dry cleaned, the girls have to make their own uniforms with t-shirts and electrical tape. Based on a true story, this graphic novel is a warm story of friendship and determination, a reminder of the struggle that women’s sports faced in getting started, and also an opportunity to look at the continuing inequality in high school and professional sports. That sounds like a lot for one book, but Tavares makes it look easy. (Middle grades)

• A First Time for Everything

  The amazing thing about travel is not so much that it changes your life but that it changes you — and so your life feels different because you’re different. Dan Santat captures that evolution perfectly in this memoir about a teen’s first trip to Europe on a class trip. (Middle grades)

• The Bawk-ness Monster

  If you loved Pip Bartlett’s Guide to Magical Creatures, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and Nathaniel Fludd, Beastologist, you’ll be delighted to know there’s a new cryptid series in town. Penny knows that a magical creature saved her from drowning three years ago, and before she and her mom move out of town, Penny is determined to prove that her mysterious rescuer exists. It’s a good thing, too, because a shady cryptid-hunting organization also wants to track down the Bawk-ness Monster, and Penny and her friends may be the only ones who can save it. (Middle grades)

• The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich

  Princesses can’t inherit the crown in Lady Camembert’s world — but that’s just fine with Lady Camembert, who is delighted to move to the capital of Fromage and reinvent herself as Count Camembert, where she can enjoy life with none of the restrictions and expectations that plagued her life as a princess. But when she meets activist Princess Brie, keeping her secret becomes challenging. It’s a graphic novel full of cheese jokes with a queer love story and feminism — it’s like they made it just for me. (High school)

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5 Inspired Short Story Collections

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• You Are Here: Connecting Flights

  The Chicago airport on the Saturday before the Fourth of July is the connecting thread for 12 cleverly linked stories about Asian American teens navigating air travel in the 2020s — and the casual and not-so-casual racism they meet on their journeys. In one story, an adopted Korean is reluctantly visiting the country where she was born with her two white dads; in another (told entirely in lists), a boy gets a finger stuck in an airport chair; and in another tale, a long line at airport security is made even longer by a Chinese grandma who is traveling with her husband’s ashes in a coffee can. Happily, the stories’ protagonists end up finding ways to navigate the airport — and, by extension, life. (Middle grades)

• Jackal, Jackal: Tales of the Dark and Fantastic

  If you are looking for an eerie, unsettling collection of speculative fiction, look no further: Tobi Ogundiran’s debut collection is pure creepy delight. Drawing on Nigerian folklore and bouncing off science fiction and fantasy tropes from around the world — “The Tale of Jaja and Canti” is a wistful take on Pinocchio, while “The Goatkeeper’s Harvest” has Lovecraftian vibes — this is the read-with-a-flashlight-at-summer-camp book you’ve been looking for. (High school)

• Meet Cute: Some People Are Destined to Meet

  There are plenty of light and fluffy romances in this collection — Emery Lord’s “Oomph” about two teens who meet at an airport during a flight delay is wholesome, heart-warming romance at its finest — but there’s also some real depth: In one story by Meredith Russo, a trans teen and a closeted teen find their school bathrooms a point of contention — and, ultimately, connection. (High school)

• A Thousand Beginnings and Endings

  What’s that you say? You’d love a fairy tale collection that draws on Asian lore rather than European traditions. Well, here you go: Roshani Chokshi’s “Forbidden Fruit” reimagines a classic Filipino tale of a goddess who falls in love with a moral; “The Counting of Vermillion Beads” spins a happy ending for a Vietnamese Cinderella story; and “Nothing Into All” is a magical retelling of a Korean folktale. And that’s just for starters! (High school)

• Rags and Bones: New Twists on Timeless Tales

  I love this collection because it retells “classic stories” that many students won’t actually be familiar with — in addition to takes on familiar texts like Carmilla and Sleeping Beauty, authors riff on lesser-known tales like “The Jolly Corner” and “The Machine Stops.” You could absolutely build a comparative literature unit around this collection and its inspirations if you wanted, but it’s also fun to just read. (High school)

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4 Books Featuring Teen Detectives

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• What Happened to Rachel Riley?

  New kid/mystery podcast geek Anna is fascinated by a mystery at her new middle school: Last year, Rachel Riley was the most popular girl at East Middle; now she’s a social pariah, and Anna is determined to find out why. Anna dives into the mystery, collecting clues from social media posts, interviews, passed notes, and more. (Middle grades)

• Gideon Green in Black and White

  Former kid detective and current film noir buff Gideon Green has sworn off solving mysteries after his last case blew up in the worst possible way. But when his ex-best friend (and current high school cool kid) shows up at his door with a case, Gideon can’t resist the urge to solve one more mystery. (Middle grades)

• The Agathas

  Alice Ogilvie’s disappearing act last summer was the biggest story in Castle Cove — until Alice’s former bestie is murdered. Alice’s ex-boyfriend is the prime suspect — but Alice thinks he’s being set up, and she convinces her new tutor Iris to help her find the real culprit. Iris, though, has reasons of her own for being interested in the case. (High school)

• Pretty as a Picture

  Please let this be the first book in a series! Extreme introvert film editor Marissa Dahl takes a job on a top-secret set for a legendary director and finds a mystery: The actress playing the murder victim is murdered right on set. Two teens with a true crime podcast enlist Marissa’s help solving the murder. I think this would be a great addition to a YA mysteries reading list, even though it’s not shelved as a YA book. (High school)

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4 Books Set in the 1990s

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• Rewind 

  McKinley’s town celebrates the past with a Time Hop every year. This year’s celebration is focused on 1993, the year her dad was in 6th grade just like her. With life in the present increasingly challenging, McKinley isn’t too upset to find herself transported back in time to the 90s — but what exactly is she supposed to set right in the past? (Middle grades)

• Rana Joon and the One and Only Now

  In 1996 California, Rana Joon is not the perfect Iranian daughter, but she thinks she can maybe be a perfect friend by entering a rap competition to honor her late friend Louie. (High school)

• Retro

  Remember life in the 1990s? A social media site is offering 21st century teens a big cash prize if they can live without smartphones, tablets, and other current tech for a year, and Luna signs on to participate — but finds herself in the center of a major conspiracy. (High school)

• The Black Kids

  The Los Angeles riots are the center of this novel about a group of Los Angeles friends navigating their final year of high school. Ashley and her pals have been looking forward to beach days and life after high school; instead, they’re forced to grapple with the destructive ways racism and classism are playing out in their own backyards. (High school)

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5 Books Set at Summer Camp

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• The Last Girls Standing

  It’s an 80s slasher flick in novel form: Sloan and her girlfriend are the only two survivors of a camp massacre, but the more Sloan discovers about what happened that terrible day, the more she suspects her girlfriend of keeping big secrets. (High school)

• Camp Damascus

  It feels like the time is probably right for a horror novel about super-religious camps designed to scare queer kids straight — and this one delivers just that. (High school)

• Not Now, Not Ever

• Elliot’s determined to reinvent herself AND win a scholarship to her dream college by participating in a cutthroat academic summer camp designed for super-overachievers. This book gave me fond memories of summer enrichment programs past. (High school)

• You Have a Match

  When Abby takes a DNA test, she discovers that she has a sister she’s never met — social media sensation Savvy, who’s just as surprised as Abby to discover a surprise sister. The two plan to meet up at the summer camp where Savvy is a counselor to figure out their family’s backstory. (High school)

• Camp

  Randy loves his summers at Camp Outland. He’s met his best friends there, found his passion for musical theater, and (maybe) fallen in love. This summer, though, he’s determined to reinvent himself as someone who his crush will actually notice. (High school)

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7 Awesome Poetry Anthologies

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• Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times edited by Neil Astley

  Themed around life milestones, from falling in love to losing loved ones to death, this collection features work from poets around the world. This collection leans into hope and optimism — it doesn’t ignore the challenges of life in the modern world, but its life-affirming slant makes it a lovely beginner’s collection.

• A Poem for Every Day of the Year edited by Allie Esiri

  With poems for Diwali, the spring solstice, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and other nontraditional holidays as well as the usual suspects, this anthology is a lovely way to add a little more poetry to your everyday life.

• Firefly July: A Year Of Very Short Poems edited by Paul B. Janeczk

  Themed around the seasons, this compilation emphasizes short, evocative poems that are perfect for discussion — and copywork, if that’s part of your homeschool routine.

• Poetry for a Change: A National Poetry Day Anthology

  Here’s a perfect little poetry collection: 43 poems about the challenges and delights of change from Yeats to Abigail Parry’s “Instructions for Not Becoming a Werewolf.” This one’s especially good if you're looking for poems to appeal to a wide range of ages.

• Emergency Kit edited by Jo Shapcott and Matthew Sweeney

  This is the poetry equivalent of in-case-of- emergency-break-glass — poems designed to see you through the spaces where you just feel too much, whether it’s giddy happiness or intense sorrow. If you like Spanish poetry, it’s really well represented here.

• Forget-Me-Nots: Poems to Learn by Heart edited by Mary Ann Hoberman

  Memorizing poetry has been a much-loved part of our homeschool life, but even if you aren’t interested in committing poems to memory, this is a fun and memorable collection of classic and contemporary poetry.

• Norton Anthology of Poetry

  If you want a comprehensive, chronological collection for serious poetry study, this is the one you need. It’s maybe a little more intense than you want for a first poetry dip, but if you’re ready to get into deep critical reading, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better anthology.

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What to Read Next If You Love Hadestown

If you can’t get enough of Greek mythology, add these myth-inspired books to your summer reading list.

PHOTO: Wikimedia Commons

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Thundercluck

How have we all gone so long without demigod chickens fighting evil to save Asgard? Thundercluck is the hero Norse legend forgot to mention, but he’ll definitely be a memorable addition to your readaloud list. (All ages)

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Where the Mountain Meets the Moon

The power of Orpheus’s story is his belief that he can change his fate if he just keeps fighting — and in Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, Minli follows the same determined path on her quest to find the Old Man of the Moon. (Middle Grades)

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Lalani of the Distant Sea

Lalani’s voyage to legendary Mount Isa — in search of a cure for her mother — is steeped in Filipino folklore, but readers will find echoes of Hadestown’s themes of personal responsibility, loyalty, and leadership in Lalani of the Distant Sea. (Middle Grades)

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When You Trap a Tiger

Lily makes a deal with a magical tiger to save her grandmother in When You Trap a Tiger. This tale based on Korean myth hints at the same risks Orpheus discovers in making agreements with supernatural powers. (Middle Grades)

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Pandora’s Jar

If you’re over the heavy Boys Club atmosphere of the classic Greek myths, Pandora’s Jar is just what Athena ordered. In this imaginative collection, Natalie Haynes emphasizes the stories of the goddesses and women who usually get short shrift, including Eurydice, Pandora, Artemis, and Hera. (High School)

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Circe

The complicated feminist witch of the Odyssey finally gets center stage in Madeline Miller’s Circe. From her childhood in the shadows of Olympus to her (surprise!) friendship with Penelope, Circe’s hero’s journey is a definite twist on the traditional version. ((High School)

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Girl Meets Boy

Here’s a delightful rarity in the mythological world: A happy ending. In the original, Iphis is a girl raised as a boy who falls in love with Ianthe — the goddess Isis changes Iphis into a biological male so that the two can get married. In Ali Smith’s retelling Girl Meets Boy, Anthea and Robin get to live a trans-affirming version of this story in our modern world. (High School)

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Piranesi

Piranesi is the only inhabitant of a mysterious, labyrinthine house with no apparent entrances or exits. He spends his days wandering the endless procession of passageways, which include oceans, crowds of statues, and levels covered in clouds. It’s as a mysterious as any Underworld — and as eerily lyrical as Orpheus’s journey. (High School)

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An Orchestra of Minorities

In An Orchestra of Minorities, Chigozie Obioma transposes the Orpheus myth to Umuahia, Nigeria. When a young farmer is pulled into the life of a young woman, he finds himself pulled into a fate he never expected. (High School)

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What to Read Next If You Loved Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse as a Kid

Nobody’s perfect, but we all have the power to be better tomorrow than we were yesterday. These tales of forgiveness and redemption remind us that we are better together.

Forget the perfectly behaved children of mid-century children’s books — one of the best things we can show our children is that it’s OK to mess up — and that there are real ways to move on from our mistakes. Lilly is every kid who’s ever been too excited to settle down. Nobody’s perfect, but we all have the power to be better tomorrow than we were yesterday. These tales of forgiveness and redemption remind us that we are better together.

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Because of Mr. Terupt

Mr. Terupt’s fifth grade class isn’t like other classrooms — it’s actually fun, and the seven kids whose perspectives shape Because of Mr. Terupt enjoy being there. But when a tragedy changes everything, no one knows how to move forward. How can you be forgiven for something unforgivable? Sometimes it’s weird to ready school-y books like this one with homeschooled kids, but Because of Mr. Terupt is a great reminder of the personal relationship that’s at the heart of good learning — and of our homeschools. (Middle grades)

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Bob

Wendy Mass and Rebecca Stead teamed up with illustrator Nicholas Gannon for Bob, which would honestly be enough to put this slim volume on my middle grades reading list. Bob has been waiting in the closet for five years for his friend Livy to return — but when she finally does, she’s almost completely forgotten her imaginary friend. This is a lovely meditation on growing up and changing friendships that taps into the essential me-ness at the heart of all us.  (Middle grades)

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New Kid

Seventh-grader Jordan is the New Kid at his prestigious private school, but being one of the only Black students in a privileged bubble is hard. Being one of the few kids in his neighborhood enrolled at a fancy school is hard, too, and Jordan often feels like he doesn’t fit in anywhere. (Like middle school isn’t hard enough!) One of the best things about this book is how realistic it is: Jordan is about to confront some of the problems with the system, but he can’t dismantle them by himself. (Middle grades)

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Ida B... and Her Plans to Maximize Fun, Avoid Disaster, and (Possibly) Save the World 

This book — about a homeschooler! — tackles the tough question of what to do when your whole life falls apart — and you don’t react in the best possible way. Ida B. gets a major life upheaval after her mom’s cancer diagnosis, and it takes time for her to make peace with her new normal. Homeschool characters in middle grades books can be complicated for actual homeschooler, but this one doesn’t feel unrealistic. (Middle grades)

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I’ll Give You the Sun

In I’ll Give You the Sun, Noah and Jude have gone from being super-close twin siblings to barely speaking to each other — and they’re both carrying burdens of loss and guilt in the wake a family tragedy. Jude and Noah alternate telling the story of their lives, including a tangle of misunderstandings that must be unraveled for them to move on. (High school)

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Early Departures

In Early Departures, Jamal has the chance to make things right with his ex-best friend Q — something he never expected since Q died two years into their estrangement. But thanks to new technology, Q can be reanimated for a short time, and Jamal may be able to make amends. Unsurprisingly, the result is an emotionally heavy book — hopeful but heartrending — so read accordingly. (High school)

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Darius the Great Is Not Okay

Darius the Great is not, in fact, okay: He’s about to take his first trip to visit family in Iran, but he fully expects to be as lonely, depressed, and disappointing to everyone in his life as he is at home. Then he meets boy-next-door Sohrab, who turns out to be the friend Darius has been waiting his whole life for. This is a lovely reminder that sometimes we need someone else to really see us before we can find ourselves. (High school)

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Autobiography of Red 

A reimagining of the myth of Herakles, Autobiography of Red is novel-in-verse from the perspective of Geryon, a winged red monster who is also a boy. Part love story, part bildungsroman, part myth, this is a compact, dense tale that rewards slow reading. (High school)

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Cry the Beloved Country 

Cry the Beloved Country is a novel about two South Africas and about two men on either side of South Africa’s color line. When Stephen goes to Johannesburg to find his sister and his son, he finds more sorrow and hope than he could have imagined. This is one of the most profound books about the cycle of violence, the effects of systemic justice, and whether hope is enough without action. (We have a reading guide for this one.) (High school)

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The 57 Bus 

Sasha and Richard were co-passengers for about eight minutes every weekday on The 57 Bus — eight minutes where Sasha’s white, private school life intersected with Richard’s experiences as a Black public high school student in Oakland, California. That eight minutes, though, was long enough to lead to a tragedy that would change both their lives forever. (High school)

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A Prayer for Owen Meany

John and Owen are unlikely best friends who grow up together in A Prayer for Owen Meany — gravel-voiced, short-statured, peculiarly superstitious Owen isn’t always an easy friend to have, but John can’t imagine his life without him. (High school)

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What to Read Next If You Loved Miss Rumphius

Miss Rumphius wants to make the world a more beautiful place, a legacy that comes with a deep connection to nature. These books take up that project, showing that family, home, and nature can change us for the better.

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The Complete Brambly Hedge

The illustrations are the real stars of The Complete Brambly Hedge, a collection of old-fashioned stories about very civilized mice living the cottagecore life across the four seasons. (All ages)

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The Secret Garden

Nature has the power to change more than the environment in The Secret Garden. Bitter, guarded Mary Lennox doesn’t find a warm welcome when she’s sent to live at her uncle’s Yorkshire manor, but she does gradually find herself. (All ages)

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The Becket List

In The Becket List, Becket is determined that her new life on Blackberry Farm will be the best ever — but the reality never seems to live up to her expectations. Slowly, she realizes that loving herself — just the way she is — is the key to living the life of her dreams. (Middle grades)

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Unusual Chickens for the Exceptional Poultry Farmer

In Unusual Chickens for the Exceptional Poultry Farmer, Sophie adjusts to her new life on a rural farm by writing lots of letters — many of them to Redwood Farm Supply, which specializes in the “unusual” chickens that suddenly seem to be everywhere — and doing all kinds of strange things. (Middle grades)

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Across the Pond

Callie’s family movies to a castle in Scotland in Across the Pond, and Callie takes on sexism in the local birding troop with the help of some new friends, thanks in part to an old birdwatching journal she discovers in a locked trunk. There’s a core of real sweetness in this book that I loved: We all sometimes feel like we don’t belong, and we’re all delighted when we discover that we’ve found a community. For birding enthusiasts, for middle grades readers who enjoy realistic fiction, for anyone who’s ever wished for that castle in Scotland — you’ll want to pick this one up. (Middle grades)

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All Creatures Great and Small

Small town English country life between the world wars is illuminated through one veterinarian’s adventures in All Creatures Great and Small. Suzanne says, “My love affair with these books — All Creatures and its sequels — goes back over 30 years. In them, Herriot tells stories of his days as a Yorkshire veterinarian working on both farm animals and pets, beginning when he is just out of school in the 1930s and has joined the practice run by eccentric Siegfried Farnon, assisted (more or less) by Siegfried’s hapless brother, Tristan. The tales are sometimes tragic, as when a farmer loses both his livestock and his livelihood, and sometimes hilarious (“Mrs. Pumphrey’s Tricki Woo has gone flop-bott again”), while always being warmly affectionate and self-deprecating. Supposedly these are Herriot’s real-life experiences — ‘James Herriot’ is the pen name of Alf Wight — but over the years there have been different opinions on how much is real and how much is fiction, so that I’ve moved my own copies from the ‘memoir’ shelf to ‘fiction’ and back again, but when the writing is this enjoyable it doesn’t really matter where they end up.” (Middle grades)

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The War that Saved My Life

In The War that Saved My Life, Ava is evacuated from her cramped London apartment to the British countryside — where she discovers that even in wartime, life can be happier than she ever suspected. (Middle grades)

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Far from the Madding Crowd

Bathsheba Everdeen is smart, capable, and ready to take over her uncle’s farm in 1830s rural Essex in Far from the Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy’s least depressing novel. If only all those suitors would leave her alone and let her focus on her work. (Spoiler: They will not.) (High school)

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Cold Comfort Farm

Orphaned socialite Flora decides Cold Comfort Farm sounds like a perfect spot for a little adventure in this tongue-in-cheek satire of British rural life in the 1930s. (High school)

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Miss Buncle’s Book

Who wrote the book about Silverstream and its inhabitants? Nobody suspects meek, 30-something Barbara Buncle of the skewering story, but it is indeed Miss Buncle’s Book, and it launches Miss Buncle and the folk of Silverstream on a series of adventures. (High school)

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What to Read Next If You Loved The Phantom Tollbooth

Milo’s adventure in the Lands Beyond is full of witty wordplay and curious characters. Get a similar taste of brainy unpredictability from these delightfully eccentric books like The Phantom Tollbooth.

Your Next Picture Book:

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Harold and the Purple Crayon

Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett􏰁 Johnson celebrates the power of pure imagination with this story of a boy and his favorite art supply.

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 Your Next Chapter Book

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The Little Prince

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery explores some of the same big questions and ideas as The Phantom Tollbooth within a similarly whimsical premise.

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 Your Next Readaloud

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The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride by William Goldman has a ripping good story — it’s better than the movie, and that’s saying something — and a narrator whose literary asides will have you giggling with glee.

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 Your Next Teen Read:

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Stardust

Stardust by Neil Gaiman has a few adult plot points sprinkled throughout, but teens who loved Milo will be equally engaged by Tristran’s journey through the mysterious lands of Faerie.

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 Your Next Grown-Up Book

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Gentlemen of the Road

Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon is full of weird characters and curious situations. The twist: It’s all taking place in the real world, circa C.E. 1000.

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What to Read Next If You Like Harriet the Spy

Harriet the Spy was our first rebel heroine, a smart girl who spies for the sheer pleasure of it. We’ve rounded up a Harriet-inspired reading list for every level starring other renegade girls are worthy follow-ups to her literary legacy.

Have you watched the animated Harriet the Spy adaptation on Apple TV+? What did you think?

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Your next picture book

Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes

Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes features an equally likable little rebel. Like Harriet, Lilly accidentally creates conflict with people she cares about; like Harriet, she has to figure out how to make things right while still being true to who she is.

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Your Next Chapter Book

Anastasia Krupnik by Lois Lowry

Anastasia Krupnik by Lois Lowry also focuses on a budding writer who sometimes finds herself at odds with life. Anastasia’s artsy parents are a little more in touch than Harriet’s, but Anastasia and Harriet share an independence and introspection that make them literary soul sisters.

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Your Next Readaloud

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley is usually shelved in the adult section, but its 11-year-old chemist heroine has plenty of Harriet-style spunk. Flavia sees the world through her own particular lens, making observations and connections that the adults around her don’t always see.

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Your Next Teen Read

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks by E. Lockhart

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks by E. Lockhart, the tale of a plucky teen who infiltrates the all-male secret society at her snooty boarding school. This seems like your typical teen high school novel, but once you start reading, you realize it’s a whole lot more — not unlike its intrepid heroine.

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Your Next Grown-Up Book

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery focuses on precocious Paloma’s life in a Parisian apartment building, where — driven by loneliness and monotony — she vows to commit suicide on her thirteenth birthday.

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